It’s just hit me that I’ve been here for more than 6 months. I haven’t seen any of my family members in that long, I haven’t been in America in that long, and I feel so used to it all. I’ve stopped having those moments where I pause in the streets and immediately think, “Holy shit, I’m in China!” Being here for this long means that I’ve picked up some habits that I’m sure would make my mother shudder.
For one, I have no qualms about picking my nose in public. This is actually one of my favorite things, because I’ve always seen picking my nose as something absolutely natural. EVERYONE does it, so why not as well make it public? I can imagine people reading this with a disgusted expression on their face, so I will add this: picking your nose is not the worst thing. Chinese people believe that snot is meant to be removed from your body by any means, so it is extremely common to see people shooting snot rockets onto the ground. I’ve had plenty of close calls, with people hitting an inch next to my shoe.
Back home, I can jay walk pretty well. I just wait for a traffic bubble and then just walk quickly across the street. A policeman has stopped me after crossing Broadway in San Diego (a 6 lane street!), and he let me off after I told him I was from DC and used to jaywalking. In China, jaywalking is common, but the way they do it is much more fearless than in America. People will walk a few lanes, then stand precariously as buses and cars go around them, honking their horn or flashing their lights. It’s quite hilarious to see, but I’ve started joining the ranks of daredevils who blaze forward in the name of saving time. It’s hilarious to hear people say, “That laowai can cross streets like a Chinese person!”
“EH?!?!?!” This is the worst habit I’ve developed here. My mom always taught me to be as quiet as possible, for lack of a better way to tell me if I’m being loud. She just flat out told me that I shouldn’t make noises when I chew, nor should I grunt in reply to anyone. So I was never very vocal other than talking. However, after I started working in China, I quickly picked this up. It’s not uncommon to hear people shout out “EH??” to someone trying to get their attention. People will hear their phone ringing and then answer “WEI?!” anywhere in Beijing. The bathroom, the bus, or out in the street, you are pretty much guaranteed to hear someone say this. Unfortunately, I am now one of those people. Someone calls out to me, and I turn around and go “HUH?????” It’s incredibly convenient to do this, but also incredibly rude in America. I can only hope I can drop this habit pretty quickly!
At the beginning of last semester, I walked into a public bathroom and recoiled in horror. There was absolutely no walls separating any of the squat toilets, and I couldn’t help but think that I would never use a bathroom like that. Winter break rolled around, and I went on my program trip. I quickly realized that there would be 12-hour stretches where I would have no access to western toilets and quickly got over my American privacy quirk. I’ll spare you the details, but it involved a few times of “别看我！” or “Don’t look at me!” Before I came to China, I adhered to the unspoken rules of the men’s bathroom. Go in, do your business, and leave. Do not make eye contact with anyone else. Do not talk. But now I’m used to the anything goes situation in Chinese bathrooms.
Despite these habits I’ve picked up, I’ve also kept some very strong Americanisms. No matter how hard I try, I can’t shake the thoughts that pop into my head.
Whenever I’m walking down the street, and I want to cross, I still look behind me. If you see Chinese people cross the street, they just do it in a flow, without ever looking back. If a car comes up behind them, they just assume the car will honk. I, on the other hand, can’t shake the years of my parents lecturing me to look before I cross.
The customer is not god anymore. Growing up in a consumerist society, you get used to getting what you want. A messed up order in a restaurant is not grounds to send it back. You get what you get, and you pay for what you get. My dorm recently converted their washing machines from card-operated to coin-operated. I asked the front desk if they could convert my 5 kuai bill into coins so I could use the coins for the machine. The man said “Well of course we don’t have 1 kuai coins!” as if I had asked him to kill someone for me. He told me to go and try the convenience store. I went, bought some items, and then asked the cashier if she could convert the bill for me. She said no, and refused to explain more. I persisted and she finally snapped, yelling at me to leave her alone. I left with no explanation. It felt weird to be in that situation, after years of having people sweetly explain to me why they couldn’t do it, or even gladly changing my bill.
Of course, there’s the amazingly clichéd saying, “you can take the tiger out of the jungle, but you can’t take the jungle out of the tiger,” which I think is pretty true. My friend last semester turned to me and said, “You’re pretty Chinese. You could fit right in if you weren’t so American and white.” This is pretty much my predicament. I’ll never get rid of the American in me. In a way, I don’t really care. I like being certain of my identity. I know I’ll keep trying, but it’s like the response I always get wherever I go: “You could fit in, if you weren’t so tall… and so white…”
*love this.
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